5 Ways to Tell If Your Friends Are Actually Your Friends

Are the “friends” in your life actually your friends, or do they just tolerate and put up with you for their own benefit?  Sometimes in life, it can be hard to distinguish the difference between someone who is a friend and someone who is a true friend.  You’ll be able to tell the difference immediately when you find yourself in a dark place, needing someone to lean on–your true friends will be there, the others won’t.

Here are five ways to tell who’s who among your friends:

True friends back up their words with action – A person can talk about how much you mean to them and how important you are in their life, but if they can’t demonstrate this to you through action, then they’re likely not a true friend.  Talk is cheap, and everything is easier said than done.  Those who really do value you and your time will follow through on their words with action.

True friends find time for you – Everyone gets busy, we understand, but never let someone consistently make plans with you only to break plans with you a short while later.  Just as you make time for the people you care about in life, your friends should be able to make time for you.  Constant excuses as to why they can’t make it to planned activities or events are one indicator that they don’t really care.

True friends will laugh and cry with you – While I agree that the cliche phrase of “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” is tired and overused, there is some truth in its words.  A good friend doesn’t abandon you during the tough times in your life.  And there are going to be a lot of tough times in life.  You need to make sure the friends you have are going to be there for you when the going gets rough.

True friends make you a better version of you – Everyone has weaknesses that they’re working to fix.  For me, I strive to be the kindest person I can each day, only putting out positive energy into the world.  But there are times when I lose my composure and act out in unhealthy, negative and toxic ways.  A true friend knows the real you, and they acknowledge that there are times when your dark side comes out.  They aspire to help guide you back onto the right path whenever you go astray.

True friends allow you to be yourself – One of the greatest gifts that your friends can give you is the feeling that you can be yourself around them, no matter what.  They don’t try to manipulate you into doing the things you don’t want to do or try to convince you that the way you do things is wrong.  They just don’t care.  They’re totally content with you just being you.