FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE - Diamond Diepreye

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their

own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you

once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch

the stomach and say, "Congrats."

But, none of them touch the man's penis and

say, "Good job."

Moral of the story: Quality work is never

appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more

comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a

bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the

bastard's  name.

3. If you help someone when they're in

trouble, they will remember you when they're

in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's

illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but

then neither does milk.

Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A

friend of mine was wearing one, when he

was shot by the woman's husband.

#Diamondisararegem

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